Sitting the Fence

How does that work?

"Well, I can see how it works. There's really only two sides."

Really? There's only two sides?

"Honestly, I'm looking right now. There's one side, and then there's the other side. Two sides. "

Have you considered the third side? Maybe there's an alternative choice.

"Listen God, there's clearly only two visible options. And cant you see that I'm sitting smack in the middle, right on this fence? Trust me, I see both sides. One side, and the other. It's as clear as night and day."

But between night and day, is there not also dusk and dawn?

"Okay, God, no, You're missing the point, You're getting caught up on the logistics of -- look. I can see both sides, and to tell Ya the truth, neither of them look like great options."

Okay, I'm listening. Go on.

"Well, on the one side, it's miserable. It's dark, and I can feel the heaviness and dampness seeping into my bones here. There's tears and pain, and a lot of emotion. God, the emotion on this side of the fence is overwhelming. But You know God, its not a bad place, it just hurts like -- well, You get the picture."

I do. 
Please, continue.

"Well okay. Then there's the other side of the fence. God, this side is bright and lively and it's full of smiles, but -- I cant feel anything here God. It's the opposite of the other side. There, I was flooded with emotion, but here, God, there's none at all. I feel numb. No, I choose to be numb. Oh, it's a happy place, but, the richness of "emotion" is lacking here. It's all forced on this side."

I see.

"So, I've decided that I'll try to sit on this fence here in the middle God. This is the only good option You've provided me with. I'm not angry or bitter toward You God. No, I love You so much! That doesn't change. And I love the people that You've put around me God! That doesn't change either. But I feel like a bathtub thats never satisfying. I'm either filled and overflowing with emotions, or I'm shallow and empty God."


I see. And which option do you choose?

"God, I cant! So, I'll sit on the nifty little fence right in between. Its quite the balancing act, but hopefully I can do it Lord."

Well, my child, this is where being God comes in handy. I can see a third option that you've missed.

"What do You mean?"

Well, I didn't intend for you, or anyone for that matter, to sit on the fence. The fence you sit on, well, it is not mine child. I did not intend for a split between the two sides, but alas! It has come to be.

"So You mean, the third option is... no fence at all?"

That's right.

"Wait, but -- no fence?"

No fence. None.

"But how can two opposites come together to be one? The feeling and not feeling? How God?"





And so, I am left praying to God.
I dont have answers.
This is where I'm at.
This is my prayer: finish the story Lord.

Amen.