Backwards

The sun is rising in the east,
Birds aren't flying, cause they 
decided it was quicker when they traveled on their feet

Spring time brings the autumn leaves,
The North is getting colder,
it decided that it didn't believe in global warming

What's happening?
Things are backwards, backwards, backwards, backwards, backwards cant you see
What's happening?
Am I slowly going crazy or is this reality?

Bread is rising without yeast,
Politicians tell the truth, they never lie, it's the newest policy

Pigs are defying gravity,
Public pools are chlorine free, little kids have decided they wont --

What's happening?
Things are backwards, backwards, backwards, backwards, backwards cant you see
What's happening? 
Am I slowly going crazy or is this reality?

What's happening?
Things are backwards, backwards, backwards, backwards, backwards 
backwards, backwards, backwards, backwards... cant you see?

Desserts vs Oceans

I love the water.
I love water games, I love water sports, I love the way that water gleams and sparkles in the sunlight, moonlight and starlight.
I love the water.

I did not always love the water.
When I was younger, I had a fear of deep and turbulent waters. I feared drowning or being lost at "sea". I feared that I was not strong enough to conquer the waves and that help would not get there soon enough should I start to slip beneath the glassy surface.


But, after time, practice, and lots of money spent on swimming lessons, I learned to overcome my fears and appreciate the gift that God had given me.

I learned that sometimes storms and deep water were necessary to help me grow, and that I didn't have to be worried that I might not be strong enough, because Help was always nearby.


--
Now I find that I have a new fear: lack of water.

I fear the desert.
I fear that dry place, where I'm thirsty all the time, where I see mirages and feel like I'm surrounded by death and wastelands.
I fear the desert.

I fear that I am lost in the desert. I fear that my throat is too dry to cry out for help, that the wind and sands will confuse and disorient me and that I will become even more lost than I already am. I fear that fatigue will overtake me, loneliness will overwhelm me, and silence will drive me mad. 

I fear the desert.
Or perhaps more than that, I fear desertion.



O God, show me that the desert is a place that I can grow.
Show me how to appreciate the desert without feeling abandoned or deserted.

all boxed up

i find myself reevaluating what i believe.
what am i willing to settle for?
what am i willing to risk?

i never thought i knew it all --
but everything i thought i knew was shook up and rearranged.
i feel like a jigsaw puzzle with pieces that were never meant to go together --
i'm comprised of confusion and absurdity and rawness and beauty and... and...

... and what?
why does it matter?
caught in a cyclical argument, my thoughts never surprise me, and i dont reach out anymore --
not to You, not to him, not to them.

i had the faintest grasp, but i took the pendulum and swung it in a direction that was easy to wrap my head around.

now we stand, staring at the box that i want to shove you into.
stop shaking your head at me. i know its wrong, but i know that this box is in the picture somehow.
could it be possible that i took the box from within you?

The Evolution of Simplicity

Is anyone else a little lost, or am I the only one feeling this?












I don't know when it happened, but somehow,
life
became
really
complex.















Life has become so cluttered, so busy and exhausting, so seemingly insurmountable and relentless that at times, it is more than overwhelming and too easily seen as a vicious cycle of fatigue, failures and false hopes.










So naturally, we panic.



























Panic doesn't always look the same.
It could be an outward break down, a collapsing of the forced pleasantries and social formalities.




It could be an unnerving silence, a piercing hush of anxiety and distress.





It could be a blind and desperate cry, a taking back of control through whatever means possible.
















What ever happened to simplicity?

















Can we come back to a point where simplicity is a little less complex and a little more... simple?






I'd like to believe it.
I need to believe it.

Thank God for Tina Turner

While she may not have been decked out in sequins or had crazy hair like the original Tina Turner, tonight I met a lady that called herself Tina Turner. 

Sitting under one of the lights outside of J's pizza, a lady came up to a friend and I talking in somewhat random sentences. Random things, but there was something about her. She told me to touch her hand -- and I did. Why wouldnt I? Because I was scared she might be unclean? I dont think that was a fear that Jesus had. 

I held her hand. 
A woman, who has a 14 year old daughter that wears the same size clothes as her; a woman that declared she was a grandmother; a woman that obviously knew the area and its residents well; a woman who no doubt didnt have someone to hold hands with often. 

And she was beautiful. 
She asked if my friend was going to walk me home. When she felt there was a doubt on my friends part, she offered me money for a cab ride home. She didnt look like she had a whole lot of that. Money. 
She told me that if I was ever out on the street, she would look after me and wouldnt make me work for her. She had my back. 

And I knew love. 
Simple love. 
From a stranger. 

Thank God for Tina Turner. 

take

sometimes i wish you would just take
because i seem to be really bad at giving

i give you permission, permission to take everything
no matter the pain
because i want to be ready for an eternity with you

i wont ask for what i shouldnt
because i know its not the right time
but just so you know
i really want it
real badly

take care of me
because i'm pretty fragile
you have full rights
please, take, take, take
and then a little more
until you have it all

i might be a control freak
but i'll let go
please, loosen my grip

love, love, love?

It sucks, doesnt it?
a) You know, when you know that someone has lied to you, but they dont know that you know, but you know because you've caught them in the act?

It sucks, it really does.
b) When someone takes something you've told them in confidence and uses it against you.

It sucks. Sucks, sucks, sucks.
c) The person(s) that you've come to rely on the most can brush you off and make you feel as important as dust.

It sucks.

The response?

a) Become bitter. Fester rancorous and evil thoughts towards this person, and dont, by any leap, bound or stretch of the imagination assume the forgiving position.

b) Make like a Pokémon species, and ditto. Do exactly what they did to you. An eye for an eye may make the world blind, but at least everyone will be on level playing ground, right?

c) Play dumb, but at the most unsuspecting times and in the most innocent ways, throw in jabs, kicks, punches, daggers, guns and axes where you can.






There is another option, but its not very popular and most people opt out.
I'm sure you dont really want to hear it, the above options sound pretty dandy, but I'll list it anyway.

d) Love.

Love, love, love. Love, and then do it again. Love the people that lie to you, love them like you want to be loved. Love the ones who hurt you, make you feel worthless; love them because we are all worthy of being loved. Love. Love yourself. Love, because you are loved, valued, worthy and important.
Love the Lord your GOD, maker, manufacturer and provider of love.


Love. I told you its not a popular option, because it doesnt come in a paper bag with fries and a coke.
But just so you know, its an option.