all boxed up

i find myself reevaluating what i believe.
what am i willing to settle for?
what am i willing to risk?

i never thought i knew it all --
but everything i thought i knew was shook up and rearranged.
i feel like a jigsaw puzzle with pieces that were never meant to go together --
i'm comprised of confusion and absurdity and rawness and beauty and... and...

... and what?
why does it matter?
caught in a cyclical argument, my thoughts never surprise me, and i dont reach out anymore --
not to You, not to him, not to them.

i had the faintest grasp, but i took the pendulum and swung it in a direction that was easy to wrap my head around.

now we stand, staring at the box that i want to shove you into.
stop shaking your head at me. i know its wrong, but i know that this box is in the picture somehow.
could it be possible that i took the box from within you?