Why?
Why do you do that?
I wish you would stop waking me up to my depression.
I was really rather content sitting in my blissfully ignorant state.
Really, I was coasting along quite nicely before you knocked on the door of my emotions,
with each thud on this
hollow tin heart
knocking off centuries of dust that has happily taken up residence there.
Why?
Why cant you just quit?
I wish you would just leave me where I was at.
I was able to have a somewhat functional bedtime before you came and shattered my peace.
Really, now I am up from dawn to dawn, sitting, thinking,
praying
that your love would stop at mediocre.
Why, why -- no how-- how can your love be so deep?
And now -- now I am at a loss for words.
Do I pray that you continue to throw my life in the air, tossed and blown in your steady direction -- which I definately cannot see?
Or do I pray for a life unsettled, a life reminicent of a pebble on the edge of an unused path?
Do I prepare for this constant churning--
do I prepare for nothing at all?
Can I handle a life of rollercoasters?
Can I handle a life of mediocrity?
You are
SO
complicated.
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