Polycephaly

"Polycephaly is a condition of having more than one head.

The term is derived from the stems poly- meaning 'many'

and kephal- meaning "head"."

-- Wikipedia

Little known fact: I think I suffer from polycephaly.

Oh sure, it sounds like it would be useful.

Think of all the advantages to having an extra head:

two brains to contemplate life's challenges;

another tongue to taste all of the bountiful pleasures at our disposal;

four eyes to navigate the world's adventures, not to mention to watch your back at all times;

an extra set of ears to hear the all of our earth's many secrets.

There is no doubt that two heads (or more for that matter) could make a huge difference in our day to day performance.

However, it seems to me that this polycephaly that I deal with is either of a different calibre than the productive version, or I must have missed the memo on how to use it effectively.

Yes, instead of having a more ideal world, my two-headedness has only created problems for me.

Instead of two brains to contemplate life's challenges, I seem to have two critical brains:

one of which will shut off at the slightest hint of a challenge, and the other that is ready to pick a fight with a dying grandmother over the type and colour of yarn she's using to knit her great-granddaughters socks, resulting, no doubt, in a fight to the death, since there is no reasoning with someone who will fight with a dying grandmother over something so trivial.

In lieu of another tongue to taste all of the bountiful pleasures at our disposal, it would seem I have only another tongue [to attempt] to tame.

Rather than four eyes to navigate the world's adventures, I seem to have four eyes that are ready to see that fault of every action I make.

In place of an extra set of ears to hear all of our earth's many secrets, I find that my extra pair only manages to hear whispers of worthlessness, failure, and cut-throat remarks that lurk behind the slightest hint of any condemning tone.

Why is it that I have such a hard time making sure that my head is working the way that God intended? Why is it that I feel a war raging between two selves that exist inside of me?

For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members. Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin.

//romans 7.22-25//esv

God?

God?

For the poor and the broken,

The proud and the arrogant,

For the sinner and weeper

For the faithless and the blinded

The bitter and confused

For the trapped and abused

For the lost and the lonely

For the forgotten and faded

The beaten and jaded

The sick and the hungry

For the dying and neglected

For the pained and infected

The spent and misused

And the monsters we’ve loosed

For our lack of repentance

And our selfish spent love

For our pride and our wrongs

Our calluses, quick tongues

For our loyalties laid elsewhere

And when we’ve mocked the cross...

... forgive and mend us Lord.

deut7.6-9//

deuteronomy7.6-9 // For you are a people holy to the LORD your God. The LORD your God has chosen you out of all the peoples on the face of the earth to be his people, his treasured possession.

The LORD did not set his affection on you and choose you because you were more numerous than other peoples, for you were the fewest of all peoples.

But it was because the LORD

loved you

and kept the oath he swore to your forefathers that he brought you out with a mighty hand and redeemed you from the land of slavery, from the power of Pharaoh king of Egypt.

Know therefore that

the LORD

your God

is God;

he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commands. //

Overcoming Unbelief

This is my life, am I who I want to be?

I want to happy.

I want to be satisfied that I am doing my best,

giving my all

and working towards the Glory of the Father in Heaven.

I want the Kingdom here on earth. I want everyone to know that I am impatient, and I don't think that my yearning for bigger, Brighter, BETTER and MORE PERFECT THINGS is unnecessary or some misplaced malcontent.

Because when I pray, Our Father, who art in Heaven, I believe He hears, and I believe His longing is what extends into my heart when I long for Your Kingdom come, Your Will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven.

When all is said and done, I don't want to be known for preaching at people. Heaven knows that's not a gift I've been bestowed.

I don't want to be known for being a quasi-follower, who hits the church on Sundays, works for the good Christian employer, graduated from a wonderful Bible school and lives an exaggerated life of crime and greed and all other corrupt moral variances.

I want to be Upright, in good Standing, and Blameless before the King.

I want the courage to pray for God's justice and then actually have the boldness to stand in the midst of it. I want to pray for correction, rebuking and God's necessary slap upside the head when I fall outside of His will. I want to be able to say that I fully believe and exhibit in full inward and outward action that I am part of God's Kingdom come.

I am part of God's Kingdom come.

Lord, the Spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.

I believe, help me overcome my unbelief.