I think the hardest thing is not knowing where you're going in life.
All of our lives, we've wondered and puzzled about that light at the end of the tunnel, but I find myself wondering why no one stops to take a look at the beautiful, yet painfully sculpted walls that lead us to the end. I know I'm not the only person who is uncertain about the future, but I cant help but wonder how much deeper the lines of worry will dig their way into my already crazy and stressful life.
Sometimes I wish I could see what lay on the walls ahead of me in this tunnel we're in. I feel like I'm stumbling, eyes shut, feeling my way towards the light.
Sometimes, I dont even know if I'm going in the right direction.
I think the hardest thing is not knowing where you're going in life.
You know when you're little, and it's really easy to do what your mom or dad tells you to do, because you pretty much trust that they know what they're talking about? I dont find it very easy to do anymore. You know -- the whole, trust thing...
This is how I figure it: faith is a lot like swing dancing. When my friend was teaching me some basics about swing, I started off by worrying about how to step properly, how to move the right way -- pretty much butchering the dance. My friend told me that I had to trust him, and that if I trusted him, I would go where his hands lead me. I tried again, trusting him a little more, but not entirely. The dance was still awkward and choppy. "Trust me," he said, and I let go, and just gave in to the fact that I was not the one who was leading, I was not the one in control, -- he was.
That's kinda how it is with faith -- at least, that's how I figure it. God is leading us in this crazy dance we call life. He's taken us in His arms, and He's whispering in our ear, "Trust me." It's not easy. We try to let go, but we still want to be in control. "Trust me," He says, and sometimes we let go.
Sometimes though, when we arent expecting a certain move, we tense up and go back to trying to control our lives. God's patient voice and loving eyes are still telling us to trust Him, but trust isn't something that comes easily to most of us.
So I figure, faith is a lot like swing. You might get dizzy from all the dips and spins, but once you let go and just trust, everything works out to be quite a lovely dance in the end.
Sometimes.
Sometimes the world seems like it moves so fast. How can I possibly keep up?
The need to be in control, to hold onto things, to make sure that nothing slips out of the fist that I use to hold my life together with.
Little do I realize, that my own pride has seized me in it's death grip, and I can only struggle so much before I start to suffocate.
Where is God in this?
Sometimes, I wish I could take a break, pause time, or even just rest on the hope that tomorrow will come later than it usually does. But that is where God truly is found. He is my Break, my Refreshing, He is the pause that makes the prospect of tomorrow bearable.
He is my release, my freedom from the stiffened hand of pride.
