Dont tell me.
I already know.
It's that feeling you get when you work really, really hard to have someone else rewarded.
Or that feeling when you've had something promised to you and then taken away.
Or that feeling when you've been hurt when all you've tried to do is good.
Or that feeling when you've been burned.
Or that feeling of harsh, relentless
biting, resentful, virulent,
caustic, rancorous,
distasteful,
bitter
or amer(-ère).
Yes. It's true. I've turned a deep shade of bitter.
I am bitter, and I've realized that it has become a problem.
I would like to blame it on being a woman, since all women obviously stew over all things and decide to not make anything right. I would like to blame it on this muliebrity that I have been cursed with since before birth, the one that makes all of my species overly emotional, overly prone to gossip, and overly ready to imagine that second conversation with men, that we all know isn't really happening.
Alas, I can not blame my personal grudges on my femininity -- although, I'm sure some I can use that excuse on a number of my other issues.
No, I am Barbara Swain, and I have chosen (although perhaps not as consciously as I would have liked) to be bitter.
Part of me wants to shed it, be rid of it, move on.
Part of me says, "NO. Hold onto this thing."
And even though the "move on" has the 70% and the "hold on" only has 30% of my will power, I cling to that bitter like there is no tomorrow.
Dang.
Is this a disease?
Can I claim this somewhere on a medical form?
God, change me, please.
